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Out-of-Cheetos Experience

April 29, 2009 - The Onion
Area stoner Clyde "Duane" Fontaine, a self-described "part-time mop guy and full-time connoisseur of el primo cheeba cheeba," had a transcendent, mind-blowing moment of insight during a mystical out-of-Cheetos experience Monday.

According to Fontaine, the experience—which reportedly took place on, around and above his living-room sofa between 9:45 and 10:30 p.m...